Keep Moving Forward

by | Jul 18, 2020 | Recent Musings, Written In Stone | 0 comments

An Extrovert Turned Introvert.

Since my last blog post, so much has changed. Of course there’s the obvious…COVID-19 has altered the course of history and the future for every human being on the face of the Earth. This is a well-covered topic, so there’s no need to repeat what’s been said.

In my last blog post I yearned for an escape from my miserable job–and it seems that I got exactly what I wanted. Did I think it would come at the cost of lives and a major health crisis? Certainly not. I spent many days crying, depressed and struggling, knowing what would be the outcome of this pandemic. I spent a month trying to convince my friends, family and then-coworkers why/how this was a big deal. It is an absolute tragedy and I would go back to how my life was before in a heartbeat, if it would bring back peoples’ lives. I am still struggling with the fact that while I may be thriving in quarantine, others are struggling, failing or dying. This is not lost on me. But, I’m learning that I only have power over my own life and I must keep moving forward.

In early April, I was laid off “temporarily.” Although, it’s now July and I haven’t heard from them once since then. I can’t deny that I was given a perfect escape from my job in the best way possible. Like many people, I’m making more money on unemployment than I was at my job, which is a ridiculous reality. However, it’s allowing me to save money for the first time in my life. And I managed to get out of a very negative work environment and a job that I hated, without having to quit or get fired.

I wish I had spent my entire quarantine writing and being productive. I’m sure a lot of people will look back and wish they had been more productive during this time. But, I’m finally finding my motivation again–it’s never too late to start. And it’s entirely okay to NOT be productive right now. You can use this time however you’d like. It’s yours to use [safely].

Normally, I would categorize myself as an outgoing, extroverted person, but I have embraced my inner introvert during quarantine and I might not ever go back. I am learning to play the guitar, focusing on my writing, healing my mind and learning to love myself again.

My relationship is also thriving in quarantine. I’ve heard quite a few “jokes” about couples splitting up due to isolating with their significant others…but I have had the opposite experience. I believe that you should find a partner who you grow closer with in isolation, not the other way around. If you are finding that you can’t stand to be around the person you chose as your partner, maybe it’s time to reevaluate that relationship. I know it’s easier said than done, but relationships you CHOOSE should be positive experiences. The same can be said about friendships and other relationships. There are people in my life now who I value more than ever before. But there are also people who I have realized don’t bring me joy and maybe it’s time to take a step back.

And that’s okay!! You are allowed to feel your feelings. You are entitled to do what is best for YOU. No one else can dictate your life. Once you realize that you are the sole person in charge of your happiness, you will be in control of your destiny and your life. This is a lesson I am learning every single day.

Just keep going. It’s all we can do. If you keep moving forward, you will arrive somewhere.

The magic is in the mystery.

Thanks for listening/reading,

Ilaria ♥

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